Happy Day

Brianna-17, and her buddy Kiwi

Brianna- 17, & Cierra-11 (Love this pic!)

Cierra- 11; so excited about a new DS game

Morganne- 13, THRILLED!!

The End. LOL

Countdown....

Almost Ready! I've amazed myself with what I've accomplished this past week! Some final wrapping today (after sleeping quite late, my exhausted mind/body is saying THANK YOU) and then I can relax. I'm making a vow to myself right now-- next year I am not going to put myself in this stressful situation. Shop early! Wrap Early! Enjoy the weeks leading up to the holiday, instead of being overwhelmed.

Peace, health and Joy to all.

Shopping Frenzy

Someone slap me for not getting started on Christmas sooner! argh- life is not cooperating lately! Guess the tree is going to have a very short half life at our house this year...... since it's not even up yet. Bad me. I'm doing some very harried online shopping due to current life circumstances and my obsessive dislike of crowds and traffic. Hey the shipping charges equate a tank of gas so I guess it's all the same in the end.

Cold Sunset

A Crisp Clear Beautiful Day leads to a gorgeous sunset

This is about 1/2 mile from my house or 10-15 min walk

At the bottom of the hill. The sky was incredible looking.

Cool clouds! It was incredibly beautiful, and about 46 degrees.

*inspired by and for Janice, my ocean loving buddy who lives far to far away.

Sunday

Danged Tree is still on top of the neighbors house! When is the tree service going to get here???? What do you want to bet they're simply going to show up, unannounced?

Ok, so I mentioned it was stormy.... here's my

driveway this morning. Not so bad-- typical

after a storm here.

Imagine my surprise when I discovered this:

Thankfully no one lives in the house next door,

and even more thankfully this tree in my side yard

did not fall on MY house during the night!

Now that's quite some adrenaline rush first thing in the morning!

Stormy

Major Wind Storm since yesterday and overnight! Not sure how much rain there was. My guess it'll look like driving through a tornado once I venture out. Thankfully, no loss of power! Nothing worse than waking to no power. All us girlie types need to shower and use our electrical appliances. One extremely tardy young lady has her's going full blast at the moment. Will we be in the car in 5 mins as expected? Doubt it....

Going to check out the ocean later. Supposed to some major waves. Stay tuned.....

Useless Crap about Me

No more whining! I'm going to make a concentrated effort to focus something positive from now on.

For fun, I stole this from Janices blog.

1. What kind of soap is in your bathtub right now? Soft Soap Pure Cashmere Moisturizing Body Wash

2. Do you have any watermelon in your refrigerator? Yes :o)

3. What would you change about your living room? The ugly 70's style chandelier wall sconces

4. Are the dishes in your dishwasher clean or dirty? D-I-R-T-Y, but almost ready to run

5. What is in your fridge? Turkey, Cheese, Sausages, Homemade Turkey Soup, Milk, OJ, 1/2+1/2, Lemonade, yogurt, assorted condiments (mayo, mustard, butter, ketchup, salad dressings, marinades, etc) some veggies and apples
Back up Fridge in the garage mainly holds drinks- Snapple, Water bottles, Propel, Vitamin Water, Diet Pepsit/7Up and overflow bulk food stuffs from Costco

6. White or wheat bread? Multi-Grain and Sourdough baby

7. What is on top of your refrigerator? a bunk of junk. Baskets, phone book ummm not sure what else

8. What color or design is on your shower curtain? No shower curtains here

9. How many plants are in your home? None. I have a black thumb :o(

10. Is your bed made right now? haven't done it yet, but I will. I like to get into a made bed at night.

11. Comet or Soft Scrub? Comet works better

12. Is your closet organized? Depends which one you look in, LOL!

13. Can you describe your flashlight? My flashlight, as in only one? We have many assorted sizes and strengths

14. Do you drink out of glass or plastic more at home? Glass

15. Do you have iced tea made in a pitcher right now? Not sure, the kids make the pitcher drinks- I never drink 'em. It's probably Crystal Light of some random flavor

16. If you have garage, is it cluttered?Way cluttered. But there is a spot for my car right in the middle of it. snicker

17. Curtains or blinds? Blinds

18. How many pillows do you sleep with? I have 5 on my bed

19. Do you sleep with any lights on at night? Not unless you count my evil next door neighbor who likes to shower at 3am and the light from their humongous bathroom window shines right into my bedroom.....grrrr

20. How often do you vacuum? not often enough :o( I'm dreaming of a dyson... someday

21. Standard toothbrush or electric? Regular ole' arm powered

22. What color is your toothbrush? uhhhh teal and ???????

23. Do you have welcome mat on your front porch? There is a rough mat for wiping feet, it does not say Welcome

24. What is in your oven right now? crumbs

25. Is there anything under your bed? Yeah some boxes

26. Chore you hate the most? Cleaning bathrooms!

27. What retro items are in your home? Retro sounds so nice, like something COOL. My house is
straight out of the 80's for the most part... I just call it U-G-L-Y

28. Do you have a separate room you use an an office? I wish

29. How many mirrors are in your home? I don't know? All bedrooms have mirrored closets, plus bathrooms, plus a few assorted others...

30. Do you have any hidden emergency money around your home? No! But that's an excellent idea

31. What color are your walls? Mostly white, except one bathroom that had hideous wallpaper

32. What does your home smell like right now? Nothing, no one is here except me

33. Favorite candle scent? Not really a candle burner-- but I do like vanilla, or subtle scents

34. What kind of pickles are in your refrigerator right now? For my pickle loving girl- the big huge honking kind

35. Ever been on your roof? Nope! Only da' man goes up there to blow the pine needles and clean the gutters out

36. Do you own a stereo? I don't! How lame is that?

37. How many TVs do you have?Embarrassed to say it...6

38. How many phones? One with 4 handsets plus 4 cell phones

39. Do you have a housekeeper? I WISH!!!! My ultimate fantasy...... it's a sad existence! LOL

40. What style do you decorate in? I wish I had a style! Modern messy? Due to three heathens who refuse to help out?

41. Do you like solid colors in furniture or prints? I do have 2 patterned couches but I prefer solid... those patterned ones are getting old!

42. Is there a smoke detector in your home? Yep, every room!

So thanksgiving is over. It went well. Now it's time for everyone to go back to school and the stress of the holidays is here. I wish I could enjoy the holiday season more- but it just feels like such a chore each year. I hate that I can't drum up more enthusiasm for it. I didn't even shop this weekend, not even online! That's a first. I'm in major avoidance mode.

I haven't been sleeping well and resorted to sleep aid last night- but tonight I'm up to late to take anything, since I have to be back up in a little over 6 hours.

I wonder why depression and other mental disorders tend to run in families?

The dreaded "C" word

I'm embarking on a path today-- that I don't do often enough. What is it, you wonder? It's called CLEANING. Oh Joy! I admit it-- I'm a fairly lousy housekeeper. I don't vacuum, dust or mop often enough. Nor do I do laundry often enough. I think it stems back to my domineering childhood where I was a mate in the Navy (or so it felt) so with obvious abandon, I did just that the moment I was on my own at 17 years old...... rebelled completely and fully at being orderly, structured and rigid cleaning routines. Now, 20+ years later I can see the merits of it, but somehow that doesn't motivate me .... much. I'm best in a "must do" scenario. Today's "must do" scenario is the return of my oldest daughter. She's been gone for 6 weeks and as much as I detest breaking out the scrubbers for the bathroom and vacuuming the rafters in the living/family rooms- I want the house to be clean so it "feels" good when she arrives home later today. I love the clean feeling, as well. The main glitch is that it doesn't last long enough due to the other heathens that occupy this house with me!

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's off to work I go....

Slugsville

Boy, I've been a real slug with my blog this month. Not sure why- I just feel completely apathetic.

I've been waking up with horrible headaches A LOT. what's the deal with that? Shouldn't you feel your best after a night of sleep? I feel like crap most of the time it seems. Aching Head, Aching Neck. My neck has been really out of whack.

Bri comes home this Saturday. 6 weeks FLEW by. I have mixed feelings. It's been so nice not to deal with her drama. There's been plenty of long distance drama- but she is much nicer to me when she's not home. Ok lets be real. I'm dreading it. I'm expecting her to be completely pissed off about being home and take it all out on me. I actually feel somewhat ill, knowing what will inevitably be coming. I don't think distance will have made her heart feel fonder-- if anything it will probably have only confirmed how badly she wants to leave. I just wish that didn't mean making my life a living misery.

School starts in 3 weeks. Where did summer go? I'm going to miss being a slug.

Ugh HOT

We're in Santa Clara for softball and it's HOT. I don't like it when it's over 80. I know most of the west is sizzling at 100* so I can't really complain, but I must. Because I love softball but sitting in the sun broiling somewhat ruins the joy of watching the girls play. I forgot my camera at home so darn! No pics. The first game at 8am was a loss. 2 more games today. We slept like crap and I personally have that hangover feeling from only getting a few hours sleep. I requested a room change and I think tonight will be much better. We had obnoxious neighbors across the hall who were SO loud. Plus one of the guys was drunk and oogling my 13 year old. PERV!

edit: wonderful breeze kicked up this afternoon so I'm not dying of heat anymore. Woot! We're back for a pool break before the last game later this afternoon.

I guess I'm done jumping out of my skin. I've been in a funk and I still feel like I'm not quite myself. I've accepted that B., my bipolar daughter is on her own for the summer and will simply continue to hope that she manages to navigate her days on her own. Every time I talk to her she's done something that screams of "not thinking it through" which is maddening (to me!) Yet, she appears to be having a good time and I can only hope that on the other end she'll come through the experience more mature and motivated, as well as having a realistic view of the world and what it will take for her to be responsible for herself on a daily basis. I worry constantly about whether she is taking her meds- and I don't think she'd tell me if she's not. Oh well. There's only so much I can do.

In other news- we got an Offer on our house, which we countered and they accepted. We're technically in escrow now, but I'm not holding my breath. The "Offerors" have to sell their house and in this market I'm not overly optimistic that it's all going to come together. However, I'd appreciate any good thoughts and/or vibes on this matter. I suppose I'll now have to start weeding through junk, trying to pare down in an effort to prepare for possibly moving (again.) sigh. Moving is SUCH a PITA!

Leaving this afternoon for our last softball tournament for the summer. I'm definitely ready for softball to be over. Not looking forward to the weekend since it means traveling to and being in the super uber hot heat this weekend. Bleck. I'm not a heat lover.

MIA

Yep, that about sums things up lately. Me= MIA.

The last month has mostly been a blur. To much to do, to much to keep track of.

I've made it through to the other end, but I'm really struggling right now trying to work through issues revolving around anxiety (me) and anger-dissapointment-selfishness- related to my oldest child. Not knowing if the way she behaves is her bipolar or simply an all consuming over-riding selfish ungreatful need to behave in a way that crushes me to the very core. I want to believe she doesn't do it on purpose but I'm having a definite crisis of faith.

Birthday and softball updates to come later, when I don't feel like I'm about to jump out of my skin.

Overly Busy

If anyone actually reads my blog..... I've been super busy and my computer crashed a couple weeks back. Got a new hard drive and now I'm back in business.

School's out, Softball tournament all last weekend shuttling back and forth between 2 different locations. Another tournament this weekend, but both girls are playing at the same location.

Next week is M.'s 13th birthday and I haven't begun to prepare (bad me!) then B. is leaving for SF next weekend. OMG. Somehow I'll survive it. I hope.

League Champs!

M.'s team won the league playoffs for Minors. Very cool! They were 100% undefeated through all games, regular season and post. M. is the blonde standing in the back row.

All Star tournaments start this weekend and my girls will be in 2 different cities at different tournaments. Not sure how I'm going to do that, yet!

School is out Friday. The past several weeks have been madness! Looking forward to summer!

Playoffs, Day 2

C.'s team lost, 4-3. They were eliminated. Big Drama at the game. Going into the 5th, is was 0-0. Then C. had a meltdown and wouldn't pitch. Another girl had to sub, and needless to say it wasn't pretty- the other team scored 3. Despite this our team rallied and tied it up in the 6th. But due to pitching rules- none of our regular girls could re-enter the game so a girl who had never pitched had to go in and try to hold it down. Bless her heart, what a position to be in. In the middle of all this our coach found out we'd been seeded wrong and should have been the home team. A formal protest was lodged. The game stood as is, because the tournament was badly organized and it was discovered some other teams were seeded incorrectly too. It would have meant replays for all teams..... whatever. The girls handled the loss with grace and made us all proud.

M.'s team on the other hand, remain undefeated! They won round 2 of the play offs; 5-1. The championship game is tomorrow at 2pm. M. made some stellar plays at shortstop, and did not have to pitch- which was good because her shoulder still hurts. Luckily pitching rules are more generous at her level of play, allowing more innings per pitcher and they did not need to put her in. Tomorrow will be the big showdown for league champ..... fingers crossed! They are facing a team they did not play during the regular season.

Lastly, more good news. B. told her boss about going to SF for the summer art program, and she is giving her the time off- so she doesn't have to quit her job. That's been weighing heavily on her- and when something weighs heavily on her it runs over onto me........ because she doesn't handle stress at all, and I get the brunt of it, always. BIG sigh of relief! Whew.

Me? Simply tired. Good tired, but bone tired, never the less. Bed is calling me early tonight.

One game down....

1st playoff game won!... and they advance to the next round. Won 11-7. M. pitched a couple of the innings and injured her shoulder. Worried about that, and hope it's not serious. It was another freezing cold night, windy and brrrrrrrr! Is it really June 1st? Sure doesn't feel like summer yet! M.'s team plays again tomorrow afternoon, and C. plays their first game tomorrow morning. Brianna came with me to the game tonight! First time all season. Wish she'd come more, but yay to my girl.

Giants are winning 13-0 against the Phillys. Bye Bye Armando Benitez! Good riddance! What did the Marlins do to deserve you? Dunno.... just glad you are finally outta-here!

Play-Off Bound

Last softball game of the regular season tonight. The ump was 45 min late. It was freezing out. The game was tied 2-2, and they lost 3-2. Bummer. But the silver lining is despite the loss, they ARE going to play-offs this weekend! We thought they were out, if they lost tonight. So the girls pepped right back up, just as one would expect of a bunch of giggly 5th grade girls. Went to Pizza for their end of the season celebration- fun was had by all. Got home at 9:30, which is pretty dang late for us on a school night! I'm super exhausted.

So both my girls teams are going to playoff-s this weekend. Should be loads of fun- provided I don't have conflicts with games, but of course I know that will happen.

I think M. will also be chosen for All-Stars, but the "official" call will be coming Sunday night... so I'm told.. but I "don't " know anything about it! It's all so cryptic whatever. just tell us so we can make plans for summer.

Summer! Man that's a weird thought! It's almost upon us....... School is out next Friday! WOW!

Just me and my buddy

Saturday. Memorial Day Weekend. Today it's just me and my buddy, C. The two older ones are gone for the day-- one at work, the other at a birthday party at Raging Waters. It's supposed to be a beautiful weekend, but it's drippy and cold here so far. No big plans of any kind for the weekend. C. and I are going to do something today... not sure what yet. Still in coffee mode here, despite being up early to start up the Mom Taxi. If it doesn't get sunny maybe we'll hit the movies. Can't actually remember the last movie I saw at the movie theatre.

Cierra made the All-Star Softball team. So softball continues for awhile. Whoot!