I was wrong... NOW I'm coming out of the fog!

So, I was wrong. My last post stated I was coming out of the fog. Wrong, Wrong, Wrong. It's been another week and NOW I'm finally getting over the hellish crud I've had. What a misery the past two weeks have been. I'm about 80% better... if only the cough and headache would go away I'd be much happier!

Meanwhile life goes on and I never got a day to spend in bed. I caught naps in the afternoon here and there, those were soooo sweet. I love a nap in the daytime. There is something so satisfying about the sleep that occurs during those naps.

Softball season is upon us here at my house. Practices have been underway for about 3-4 weeks and opening day was yesterday. Spent the bulk of my day at the ballpark. Beautiful day and 2 games won. I am keeping the scorebook for both teams, so unfortunately I didn't get any pictures! Darn. I'm going to have to figure out how to get some picture taking time in. Between regular team practices, pitching practice and games anywhere from 2-4 nights per week, the next couple months are going to be busy busy busy. C. is loving getting the opportunity to pitch, and her pitching coach is such a sweet girl. Today she learned how to do a change up. I'm fairly impressed with how well she's doing after only 1 month..... she is only 10 years old, but lest I forget her birthday is in 12 days- as she delightfully reminded me today.

So my baby is going to be 11 years old. That seriously depresses me. She is growing up way to fast for my liking. Since I have a taste of what's to come, via middle school and high school- I am in no hurry for her to grow up. This is going to be a bittersweet birthday this year.

Meanwhile my oldest, B. is such a puzzle. She is difficult, un-communicative, moody, unpleasant, rude and generally such a PITB to live with. I wonder so frequently if life with her would be different if we'd known when she was 10- that she was bipolar. I would think after the past 3-4 years of dealing with her depression and mood swings that we'd be on more stable ground, especially her, having learned her triggers and what to do or not do... something, anything? Yet, maybe at 17 years old, it's asking to much that she take some responsibility for her life? Noticing she is spiraling, trying to do something about it, or at least communicate about it? It just doesn't happen and it's so damned frustrating. The sense of despair I feel at times concerning her is all-consuming. I want so much for her, yet I wonder (worry) if she'll ever be mature enough to deal with her illness, and be able to live a fulfilling responsible life on her own.

Enough worrying and critical thinking for now.....