So where has the time gone? The past two weeks have been super charged busy! Christmas was good. I managed to get everything done in the week preceding, maybe 10 days. This year was tough, shopping wise. The girls are getting older and becoming more challenging to shop for. This might very well be one of the last years I actually buy any toys. The older two girls simply wanted clothes and girly stuff- they pretty much shopped with me, tried stuff on and I bought it, then wrapped it. Managed a few surprised though: A huge handbag that Bri wanted for her upcoming summer in SF. She was pretty jazzed by it. Morganne loved her clothes. Also found a "Never Flat" basketball for her... hope it works. A couple pair of shoes including some knock off Uggs. Cierra got some sweatshirts, basketball pants, Rock-em-Sock-em Robots, Mall Madness, DS games, Gamecube Games and Ipod Speakers. She and I played the Rock-em-Sock-em last night, what a riot! We were laughing so hard. I remember those from when I was a kid.

I'm ready to take the tree down. It was our first year with a fake tree. I love the remote controlled lights. But the cat keeps attacking the tree and I'm tired of yelling at her to knock it off. I'm not sure if I can take it down by myself; it was pretty heavy and I'll probably have to enlist the help of J. Oh well. There's so much I still have to re lie on him for-- I often wish I was completely independent of him. Ours is a very complicated relationship. So tomorrow is his birthday and the girls informed me that he wants an MP3, but it didn't have to be an ipod. Good thing cos I can't afford an Ipod right now. I found a good deal clearanced on CircuitCity.com; picked it up tonight. I'm hoping he'll just want to spend the day with the girls because I don't really want to go out to dinner and do all that. I got him the first season of SNL as well. That's something I'd love too! Gotta love the original SNL. Nothing like it since. Chee-burger, Chee-burger anyone?

Tomorrow I hope to veg watching the day long Law & Order marathon on TNT. Bri is working all day, so I'm hopeful that I might actually have some alone time. Adjusting to her being home all the time has been really difficult. This past fall has been the most stressful time yet I think-- with the realization of her BP disease is never going to go away and the daily dealings push me to the brink and beyond sometimes. Now that she is home and on independent study, some things are better but there are still so many issues. Just about every day I wish I could climb under a rock and make it all go away. I have a pity party at least a few times per week and then move on. I try real hard to keep it in perspective and realize that things could always be worse...... my child isn't dying of cancer like a few other kids we've known in the past year. But ya know, my fears for her never go away. Life is so much harder for her than most other girls her age. I fear that she'll never be happy and never find her passion in life; and won't be able to handle the reality of life as an independent adult with her disease; won't take care of herself properly to keep it in check. I guess that is what this summer is about. It'll be a good trial run to test her independence. I'm scared to death about it.
Well I'm pooped and I have to get up at 7am to rouse miss I-always-forget-to-set-my-alarm, who has to work at 9am. Shit, I hate this early morning work on the weekends business. She really needs to get her licence.