So Friggin Cold!

I'm getting mighty tired of being cold. It has been downright frigid. Days on end of cooooooold weather. Tonight at 6ish I was on my way home and it was 36 degrees. This morning when I got up it was 46 in my house. IN the house! at 10:30am no less! I am dreading my PG&E bill.... since I routinely pay almost $500/mo, I know it's going to be way more. I'm going to cry or go into shock most likely. Normally we try not to run the heat, but about 2 months ago we had to start running it. I would set it to 60 in the morning when I got up and let it run for a couple hours, then again in the evening for a couple hours. But this last month I've had to run it almost consistently... maybe I can turn it off in the afternoon for awhile. I've had to bump it up to 63-64 and we're still cold in the main part of the house. It gives me serious anxiety thinking about it. I wish it would warm up! Or I wish I had some firewood so I could light the fireplace.

I don't have much else to say tonight. It's been a long cold week and I've been fighting feeling depressed. I feel like I'm in a real pit right now, and it would be real easy to just slip in and stay in bed around the clock. Moms aren't allowed to do that though. It's been more of a struggle than usual lately though to make myself go through the motions of a regular day. I need to go to the doctor and insurance won't cover it. My legs hurt all the time now. I don't know what's wrong.

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!

It is soooooo cold and windy tonight. All my hard work on the yard last weekend, is being blown away. Wind, Wind, and more Wind expected along with rain and below freezing temps. Ran to the library tonight to get a book M. wanted and thought I was going to turn into an icicle on the 1.5 min walk from the car. Course it would have helped if I had a coat, but being a cali girl- I don't own a heavy jacket.
So the garbage men took my 8 extra bags of yard waste. Not sure what I'm supposed to do next week, when I can only put up the one can of yard waste. Not that I'll necessarily be doing any yardwork this weekend... as I'm being tormented with PMS symptoms which is always bad news. Out of commission for a few days is what I've come to expect. I have a feeling it's going to be particularly bad this month because I have had some serious cramps the past 2 days.

I don't have to much to else to say tonight. It's been a rather uneventful week so far. Coming to the end stretch of Geometry, thank, god. Was really stuck on some problems earlier this afternoon, but I came back to them and puzzled them out. Darned proud of it, if I do say so.
I was hoping to be done with everything by Friday, but I don't think that's going to happen.
B. has been working the past couple days, and although we have done math daily- it's been slow as the concepts in this last chapter are more challenging. I sucked in math when I was in HS- so I am pretty impressed that I've learned a whole year of Geometry in one quarter, right along with B.
Other than the math, it's been a pretty normal week... back to getting up at the crack of dawn. I've noticed that it's not quite light yet when I take M. to school at 7am now. That's different. It's seems that sunrise is a bit later. Back to the homework and running around after school going from activity A to B.
I've been thinking about where I want my life to go. Lately I feel rather empty. I'm not sure what to do to fill the void. I'm not sure I remember how it feels to be truely happy.
Not going to think to hard on it tonight..... I need some advil and some sleep. Plus some extra blankets.......

Aches and Pains

Ugh, my body aches. My knees hurt. My back hurts. My legs ache. I'm in such sad shape. Spent many hours of my weekend working on cleaning up my disaster of a yard. Amazing amounts of debris. Pine needles inches thick, branches and pine cones everywhere, not to mention the weeds. Did the front without to much ordeal, but it helps that I do blow the front regularly. The side and back yards, that's another deal. We don't really use the yard much. It's narrow and not landscaped. Mostly shaded and lots of tree cover-- so the kids don't even play ball outside, like they did at the other house. It doesn't help that there is a monster house behind us so any sense of privacy is nil when outside. The yard has been sorely neglected and I paid the price today. This week is the quarterly "clean up" week where you can put out 7 extra garbage bags. I hate throwing yard waste away, but once our big yard waste recycle can is full- what else can I do with it? So 8 bags later, plus the big wheeled bin, it's all up on the street now. If only the yard were done. I dread doing the rest! It might be 50% done, maybe less. I had such plans when we moved in here. Throw down grass seed, plants some flowers, etc. It's been easier to ignore it, I'm sad to say. I am not a gardener, nor a green thumb. In fact it's an accurate statement to say I abhor gardening. I seriously hate it! Sigh. I know I'm going to be sore in the morning. A morning that is going to be here all too soon.... since tomorrow it's back to the grind. Kids go back to school finally and that means it's back to the 6:15 alarm for me. Bleh!

Yay for the small things

I'm really tired this morning. Especially bad night sleeping. Was awake until at least 3:30am. C. is going to a girl scout cookie rally event this morning. So I'm up- pouring the java into my bloodstream. SF 49er cheerleaders will be making an appearance. Pretty wild! Who would have thought they do girl scout events? Here's hoping for a mellow day. At least I didn't have to get up at 7am today to get B. up for her job. First weekend in a month I've been able to sleep past 7. Yay for the small things!

Weary

I love the way a certain teen twists the truth to suit her distorted view of certain events.
She could never ever possibly own any responsibility for what goes on. Omitting 90% of the details is akin to lying. Such never ending BS is becoming increasingly more difficult to live with day after day.

Contemplative

This is true. To bad there are no real seasons where I live. I miss the beautiful colors and quiet serenity of New England Autumn.

You Belong in Fall

Intelligent, introspective, and quite expressive at times... You appreciate the changes in color, climate, and mood that fall brings Whether you're carving wacky pumpkins or taking long drives, autumn is a favorite time of year for you

What Season Are You?

Disbelief

Unreal scene tonight. Sitting watching the original pilot of "Monk" when my phone rings and it's my dh telling me B. is at his house. Huh? We live about 3 miles apart through the forest, and she apparently took off on foot after a fight that we had. Not really a fight persay- more me confronting her over her attitude and she turned into a bratty snot. Then thinks that I locked her in the garage. I did slam the door between the kitchen and the garage and it was apparently locked, but helloooooo..... I guess she's never heard of banging on the door to let anyone know? No, instead she assumes the worst of me, and then bolts through the dead of night. Anything could have happened to her between here and there, and I wouldn't have even known until tomorrow morning. Unfriggin real. Home now, only because I went and got her as she must have her meds. Scared the living daylights out of me. I can't believe all this drama over such a minor scene really. We've had much bigger blowouts over the years...but that was mostly before I knew she is BP. I walk around on eggshells daily not knowing if it's ok to talk to her or how she is going to react. The girl has GOT to learn to deal with conflict. Seriously! People fight, it's part of life.
I am in such disbelief over this. I locked her outside door and pray she'll still be here in the morning. At times like this I seriously wonder how much more heartache I can really deal with.